Sloth's Eat Club Reviews

My Eat Club virginity was lost in a wine bar pretending to be an Eat Club venue. Much like the loss of my actual virginity; it was somewhat dull but interesting, with a slightly fumbled delivery. Ten people sat round the smallest wobbliest table this side of the Titanic on the way down. Mountain of Pate to start (served at the same time as the main course) and a very pleasant chicken casserole to follow. Wine - cheap, scran - moderate, women - naughty (Yoghurt versus chilli anyone?). Politeness to Eat Club virgins is a nice touch. £20.

Things to learn about Eat Club: 1] Never accept a bet from a seasoned Eat Clubber involving "special menus". 2] Always demand the money for said bet to be placed in an impartial observer's pocket until completion. 3] Always, always, use a wingman for freestyle eating. 4] Listen to other Eat Clubber's before eating their food to take the taste of your food away. Often it will be lamb masquerading as crispy duck. Mr Kong's? Well Tsing Tao beer was great, pigs intestine and lamb masquerading as duck weren't. Duck with soured melon - awesome and worth a trip for.